Faking it, sincerely

Another SABN Classic:

For humble mortals the trick is to fake it till we make it!

I second it. Even now, the closest I have got to meditation is the posture. The mind wanders in gay abandon, and the Jyothi envelopes everyone barring specifically those I can't relate to,- the ones it must actually envelope! But I haven't given up on meditation; Karmanye Vadhikarasthe...

Try to LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL in Need

Looks like there is more than one Mensa-mind commenting in this blog! SABN stand-outs:

Love expands consciousness.

Service expands consciousness.

My response: Because I cannot see Swami in everyone, and honestly don't attempt to most of the time, I try the next step as much as I can, however small it be, however menial it be, however backstage it be. Since I always aver that God is but the Divine Accountant, I try to add as much minute credits to my account to offset the piling debits. My general strategy in most cases is to try to serve those who need it in lieu of try to love those who need pampering.

Each man to his own idiosyncrasies.

Comments, anyone?

Freshly brewed controversy

SR speaketh: One thing to remember is talent exemplifies and aggravates body consciousness- be it talent for art or talent in sport or speaking writing etc. That is why Bhajan singers have the greatest amount of ego!!

Thankfully, this controversy is not propagated from my end! No comments from my side, save that in my knowledge, no Centre in the history of Our organization has split on account of any Wing other than the one you just mentioned.

Counter-comments, anyone?

Poles asunder

SR at his best (again): There is perhaps a causal link between our capacity for selfless behaviour and our ability to exercise freedom and personal choice.

My response: Selflessness was supposedly the opposite of personal choice,- the sacrifice of personal choice. It seems ironical to mean that the more freedom of choice we have, the more we choose to be selfless. If I have misunderstood you correctly, America is the motherland of freedom; is it of selflessness? Maybe you could elaborate some more!

Survival of the fattest

Gentleladies and gentlemen! We finally know who Anonymous is,- 'The Secret' is no longer one. But for his sake, I will prefer to keep it so.

As usual, he raises too many points in just one comment, but something that stood out is open for discussion: If all humans became selfless and became vegetarian would there be enough vegetarian food to feed humanity?

I don't remember his name, but, there was one Economist or some similar pessimist who mentioned decades back that we would soon have too many people than we have food (forget the specific vegetarian type). And man would go back to fighting what he first fought for,- food. Strangely enough, we are still alive, and fighting,- though for more civilized causes like religion.

But the question again,- will there be enough vegetarian food? Anyone else's comments?

A pick-up load of mutton

Snapped from my car, a pick-up load of goats on their way to moksha. It felt as if they were bleating with some kind of prescience about their imminent doom. The way these animals were led to the dinner plate shows how we animals never allow other animals any dignity even in death, much less in life.

It takes courage to be vegetarian. A certain element of courage to think outside the delicious bun. A certain element of courage to ask ourselves if we truly have to succumb to our taste-buds, fully aware that, even beyond the committed sin, is the knowledge that,- food which is good for the tongue is rarely good for the tummy. A certain element of courage to come to realize that,- change has to start with us, with attacking what comforts us most.

But, man, being man, always prefers to retain the option of forced indifference to even the most glaring of all truths. We live by the tongue, and will, quite appropriately, die by it.

Yearning without yearning

I am kept reminding once in a very odd while about the need for a family trip on the Metro, as we haven't gone through this ritual yet. But somehow it hasn't happened till date, although it keeps popping up sporadically over dinner. Moot point:

With the Metro, and with life, you only get done what you need to get done. If there is no passion in the want, it never becomes a need. If there is no need, it's not needed.

All mighty accomplishments have been underscored by this one element,- passion. Armchair ambitions have rarely risen beyond the hand-rest.

Hiring your brain

This Anonymous is too good to be anything but anonymous. Here's me reproducing his Top Secret Tip for Hiring:

Always hire a person who, some day in the future, has the talent to be your boss and who you will feel happy working under.

Learning experience

Somewhere in Oxford University. Different in many ways. There is no formal class-room setting. Here, teachers and students form a mentor-kinda relationship, and communicate through assignments and homework.

This is also the same university where Isaac Newton didn't study (he was from Cambridge!), and where Bill Clinton was caught (only twice) for smoking marijuana.

Jokes, apart, salute to the world's oldest university in the English speaking world.

Kaalam

Dhanya stands in front of Big Ben at 6:27:14 PM.

The famous clock is well-known for its accuracy and notes the exact time to the millisecond, including events of great British significance, like when Prince Charles finally married his mistress, when Maradona used God's hand to score that goal, and also when the sun actually set on the British empire.

London, 7th January, 2010, somewhere below 0 Celsius anyway.

Cold to my cells

Standing next to a plaque that says that Robert Boyle did some un-printable things here more than 350 years back. He also came up with the Boyle's law in this very spot, though not necessarily at this time of the year.

For those who choose not to remember: Boyle's law says that when temperature is constant, the pressure of a gas is inversely proportional to its volume.

In simpler terms, when there is no heat on you, the pressure on you to perform is inversely proportional to the volume of your own rhetoric.

Apparently, the first living cell was also identified here, following which descended upon humanity, all kinds of nightmares like AIDS and leukemia. Till then, they just assumed comfortably that these guys died young.

Oxford, 8th January, 2010, -4 Celsius.

I(a)mperfect

An anonymous mensa-mind has made some brain-blowing comments to one of my posts, part of which is reproduced for the benefit of anyone reading my blogs:

In a state of ignorance, imperfection is natural and perfection is an effort. In a state of wisdom or enlightenment, imperfection is an effort; perfection is a compulsion and is unavoidable!

Perfection is taking total responsibility, and total responsibility means knowing that We are the only responsible person in the whole world. When we are in total vairagya (dispassion), we can take care of even trivial and insignificant things with such perfection. Perfection is the very nature of the Enlightened one.

... a bittersweet moment in eternity. The video says it all.

Zen and the art of Herbal Tea-Drinking Ceremony

I switched over to green tea ever since Dr. spoke about the positive aspects of this medicine. After a number of rounds of retch-inducing potion, I have now figured out how this suspension relaxes and calms you.

To suffer this potion, you first need to spend some time taking breaths, detaching yourself from the agony of the experience and focusing on things that will promote peace, calm and serenity. Once in this state of mind, steel yourself into submission, think it's karmic, and please go ahead and have the tastleless tonic.

You will gain peace, calm and serenity.

Gimme proof...

Br. Vasu was mentioning the other day about how study circles with personal experiences elevate the spirit and buttress faith. Very true!

However, I think it's the Bible which says that Blessed is he who has seen and believed, but even greater is he who has not seen, yet believes. He who is devoted despite any experience, he is truly the exalted devotee.

Freedom of (drafted) speech

To anyone reading my blogs, I must say that someone really, really mature in thought, and intelligent of age has made some profound comments in the last couple of days that, I thought I might add them as a post, rather than as comments, so that everyone might benefit from the wisdom in print. In abstract, he/she (sounds like he, albeit) says:

Divine love and divine perfection- both principal objectives of the "organisation" and "Brains" are not mutually exclusive..in fact they are complmentary. By Brains I mean creativity, innovation, lateral and out of the box thinking. Ego and motivation of ego is required to convert divinity to human excellence in as much as copper is required to convert pure gold to a fine jewellery. Freedom, and respect are therefore not out of place in a spiritual organisation

To respond:

I really admire these wise thoughts and appreciate your time, and my respect for you has increased manifold. Unfortunately, I always like to respect a name/face that goes behind a wise thought! But I respect your privacy.

To your comment, I would like to note as such:

Honesty is a difficult policy, But, let's face it, freedom and respect are out of place in our organization. But, as I see it, this could actually be Swami's way. In my professional organization, some of the senior people have earned their respect, and consequently, their freedom. I really don't interfere in what they do, as I know that they do what is expected.

But in our spiritual organization, we are marionettes, spanking each other through external strings by higher dictate, while we flog ourselves with internal strings of conscience. When we are not allowed to think even inside the box, I doubt it's worthwhile to think outside it. We are just foot-soldiers, marching like lemmings. Probably that's how Swami is teaching us to crush our ego. Besides, I figure out that, when we are not respected, we feel humiliated. And, according to Sri Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, humiliation is actually good for us. It crushes our ego,- which is exactly why we are all here.

When you are an office bearer, and when you are asked not to think, only to act, you submit fully to this assault on the intelligence and asphyxiation of the ego, because, the latter is what Swami wants, though probably not through the former. As long as I am willing to accept that I am to do what is told, in spite of the sheer ludicracy of it all, I am absolved of sin. It may hurt to do some of the things that we are told to, but then, only with personal attachment comes karmic accountability. I would prefer to avoid anything that adds to my already overburdened karma.

Eg. Going back specifically to my choice of succession, I feel personally devastated that my choice was not considered, not because it was my choice, but because i thought i knew the Youth Wing enough to determine that he was the best choice. However, Swami (ultimately) had other ideas. But I can only play silent witness, and maybe that's what I am supposed to do. What is your opinion???

Also, beyond the philosophy, let me ask you a question? How does love function in such a milieu? I am not being cynical (at least this time), I am really asking a question.

Overspeeding for the family

Was touched by the Traffic Department's consideration to send three smss to confirm that I was over the speed limit by around 10 kmph on a dead road in the dead of night (actually early morning 5.40 AM) on New Year's Day, 2010.

But what actually moved me to tears was that, they have shown that loving personal touch to attach a cute picture of my car in that very compromising position of being lawless (when you look up their website for fines). And I only end up paying AED 600.00 for my car to appear there.

This level of consideration of the Traffic Department would make you think they're family. And, if they are, we could collectively settle the USD 80 billion debt by, let's say, a few hundred million instances of recklessness.

Tectonic shift in awareness

I recollect that my first official meeting as a Youth Convenor was preceeded by an earthquake in Turkey. And, as a naive member, just getting to learn the ropes of insouciance, I presumed that the meeting would include some kind of discussion on disaster relief. Of course, it dealt with more relevant topics like the sequence of bhajans. That was the first of many reality checks.

My last days in the Youth Wing have also been preceded by an earthquake in which a mere 200,000 people died. But by now, I have realized that I should do what I can do. Not what someone else ought to.

When we realize that we are all marionettes at the hands of the great wire-puller of the Universe, everything falls in place. It also always helps to recollect that the Avatar has categorically mentioned that the organization is our family. Do we abandon our family? No. Similarly. Although I am an outstanding social disaster in many ways, my parents have not abandoned me (till date). In spite of It all, we have to remain one,- at least for Him.

From the depths of the lips

Reading about Haiti. Moot point:

True service lies at helping those we don't know, whom we have never met, and who will never thank us. All else is lip service, or far worse, propaganda.

The Journey Has to go on

As of 9.00 PM, Pongal day, 2010, my association with the SAI Youth Mission, Dubai, came to an end.

From the year of inception, 1995 to 2010, we have come a long way. And I have come a long way as well. Right from the early days in Pooja's house, to our Youth Home in Priyanka's house, to our Suri sir's house, back to our Youth Home, to our Centre, to our Mandir, I have had the time of my life!

I got drawn into the Sai fold through the youth, and it is through the youth that I have seen genuine Love for God. In many ways, the Youth Wing of Dubai laid the foundation of my spiritual life. But life must go on, and attachments must die. For man is born through attachment and lives through attachment, but has to leave detached.

The anguish of the last couple of days is amazing, even for my usual standards. Sometimes, you don't realize how much you value an association till you are asked to grow out of it, and by when you reckon that your Gmail inbox will never be the same again.

When I look back and realize that it's over, it dawns on me the enormity of Swami's words, when He says that let us do what we can while we can. I realize how I could have done more, done better, helped more, helped better... how I could have been more kind, less harsh, more gentle, more humane, and more considerate.

I now realize more than ever, how one should never waste any opportunity to do good, be good and say good. I really hope anyone who reads this realizes that they should never think twice about leaving their Anchor Wing(s), even if the going gets painful.

For, there will come a time when there will be no more time, and we will be able to only look back and ask ourselves why we could not have been better than we had. Never bid Farewell before making it a better place.

Never bid Farewell before you have to.

Deputizing Responsibility

I was telling my mother yesterday how my right-hand man at the office does so much of my work, I can focus a lot more on my real work.

Reflection: A good deputy does all what is instructed. A smart deputy does what is expected.

Snow White

In Oxford now. With this weather, the whole city seems to be one mighty blanket of white with a pall of surrealistic grey above. There was so much snow in Gatwick that the plane diverted to Birmingham and literally collapsed on the runway. I have been on a plane many times in my life, but have never been part of such a landing.

With the temperature at -4 C, I would have really deliberated on having something warm to keep me warm, hadn't it been for Swami always keeping a watch on me (and you as well!) at even the most awkward of times.

Just waiting to get back from the depressing weather to the depressing economy.

One's duty above one's duties

Something more applicable for me than to anyone else:

Absolute focus to duty should not be to the exclusion of everything else, rather, in spite of everything else.

Citing off the New Year

Ushered in the New Year with a fine for overspeeding on the way to the Mandir. Ushered in the last New Year with a fine for wrong-parking near the Mandir. There seems to be a karmic connection between me and the Dubai Police coffers.

Cinema and the Art of Suicidal Adulation

A businessman named Vishnuvardhan, who worked in the Kannada film industry, passed away today. He worked as a lead actor and made money, name and fame in the process. However, he must not have been too popular, as his death has resulted in only one fan-suicide, and only a few buses got burnt to cinders.

As an intelligent nation, we would hope for a similar aftermath when someone like Kiran Bedi or Medha Patkar dies. I mean, how else do you explain adulation, especially given that the Bedis and Patkars have genuinely contributed to social change. But then, they can't act, do rain dances with starlets half their age, or or promote hedonism. I don't want to own property in Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad or Bombay. You never know...

Sarcasm aside, Vishnuvardhan was (strange for the cinematic world, though) a genuinely good man.

Now here to nowhere

In an air-conditioned car in Egmore, Chennai.

Just passed by two naked urchins (who were eating something that someone had probably tossed to the bin), while thinking about another Youth conference that is looming over my conscience. Where do we go from here? Between the speech and the report, where lies our duty to God? In the deliverance for the collective cause, introspection of our personal responsibility seems irrelevant.

Incidentally, I discovered through a past-life regression session years back, that, I was an English orphaned girl in Chennai in my previous life. True? Don't know. Relevant? Absolutely. Between his street and my seat, there is a lifetime of unrequited Grace.

Invalid Introduction

I always begin a speech with these words. Ironical.

Christmas 2009

Barring a few sporadic incidents of excited-filled aggression by the children, Xmas bhajan was a largely peaceful demonstration of the children's love for Santa Claus, and especially his gifts. Since I am very scared of people getting touchy when touched, I will use fictitious names, going forward.

Although Sadeep is a bachelor, he did a remarkably good job at being Santa. And since I had advised him to be inside the Mandir only with pure thoughts (which he lacks considerably), he made sure he didnt stay inside too long, and jogged in and out very quickly. His outfit also fitted him well. Sadeep also had two plastic bells slung over his Santa belt that symbolizes his bacherlor status. Although he was petrified about making no mistakes, he still managed to make it a flawful act by forgetting the gift at the altar. Well done to our very own Santa, although he is a bachelor. It takes more than grey plastic bells to get married, it takes bells of steel, which he will figure out soon. In his own words, and misquoting him verbatim: "Although I am a bachelor, I think I did an excellent job. In fact, I am sure I did an excellent job because I am GSB. Also, I broke my personal record for the maximum photographs of myself in one day, though I will need to explain to everyone that it's me behind that fake moustache which I am still chewing on."

On the whole, it was a great effort. Everyone was jolly, generally, and specifically. Memorable incidents include:

1. Jeeet's propensity to photograph anything that moved (or didnt)

2. Sadeep's magnum opus pillar decoration which took three hours to be done so that Nowneet and I could undo it and finish it off in twenty minutes

3. Alti's wonderful Santa on a reindeer montage (although Santa's cheeks were puffed pink, not necessarily due to beer, could have been due to cognac, champagne, or even vodka)

4. Rojesh's standard operating procedure as soon as he reaches anywhere,- grab some food

5. Sateysh's regular dashing entry at 8.45 PM

6. Geresh's tension that he generously distributed to everyone else

7. Santa's complaint of his false moustache being unconscioulsy eaten away by his mouth

8. Nowneet's exclusive head that rains sweat when he dons that shapely cap with that funny thing at the tip

9. Akshitha at her usual graceful best; always unconsciously reconfirming that she is indeed, my daughter

10. The highlight of the day was when one of the children exposed our man, and reconfirmed to all and sundry that he was not actually Santa, because, if you noticed very, very carefully, he was not wearing red socks

Apart from the pejorative and the Telugu film-style suggestions, there is a Christian saying, which Christians are not really used to saying: The Last Christian died on the cross. We should endeavour to change that to: The first Christian died on the cross. 120 children would have died from hunger during the time I took to pen this post. Let us live as if every moment is Christmas, every moment is an opportunity to thank God for all that He has blessed us with, which we always forget to remember.

Unipolar syndrome

Once you are in a spiritual path, you find something negative in everybody and everything. To stay positive does not remain an option, it becomes a necessity.

Hunger for fast

Andhra should be the birth-place of creativity. Taking a cue from the Telangana trick, I am planning a fast unto publicity to carve out a separate state for my house-plot in Trichur.

God is in the details

God is perfection. Approximation is not human. 89 degrees is not right-angle.

The bridge between approximation and perfection may take two lifetimes to cross, but it is undoubtedly one that all spiritual aspirants must step on.

Within the fold of Swami's robe lies the grace of God.

Graceful gorilla

One of us mentioned the other day about me being really arrogant. Although I appreciate the genuine consideration behind the candour, I doubt I have changed from the Tercel to the 7 series.

Arrogant. Don't think so. Blunt. Yes. Bluntness is often confused with arrogance, the same as misconstruing everything sweet as diabetic.

You might end up being a self-made PR disaster, but then, PR is for the real world society. When your head is in the forest, that shouldn't be your primary concern.

Blind realism

Optimism is essential to success; realism, more so. Realism is optimism tempered with experience.

Coincidental Health and Global Harming

Spent the weekend in Rotana Al Ain. Nothing extraordinarily interesting about the hotel or the place. But something about the menu struck me. Maybe I haven't noticed before, but, this was the first time any menu in any star hotel had notes on the state of the food as well. In addition to the standard V for vegetarian, it also had H for healthy (hotels usually qualify by saying low-calorie or something to this effect).

On quick count, around half of the V marked dishes were also marked H, while, not one of the Non-vegetarian dishes was marked H, and with the menu being nearly 90% non-vegetarian, ninety percent of the dishes served by this hotel were not considered healthy by its own admission. This should be the first instance of a business enterprise denouncing its own products.

Of course, coincidentally, and with Copenhagen in the news, livestock account for 15-20% of global methane emissions--about 3 percent of global warming from all gases. Every second, one football field of rainforest is destroyed to produce 257 hamburgers, while each burger consumes only from 600-1,300 gallons of water to reach your tray; the same serving of rice takes a mighty 35 gallons.

I don't know if there is any clumsy connection in this whole post.

Counting others' blessings

In Mookambika, we were witness to the Arangetram of a Bharatanatyam student. She must have been around 18 and danced like a butterfly, arms caressing the holy air, eyes singing songs of devotion. It was just another Arangetram, but for the fact that she had only one leg.

If we don't learn to count our blessings, we won't have much left to count very soon.

Stretching the Mile

To modify Mile's Law based on individuals in our organization:

How you stand depends on where you sit, and where you sit depends on how you stood.

Living life by the kilometre

Going by experience, I have figured out that the answer to the following question will give you a fair idea of the pace of life in a city: How long will it take to get there?

If the taxi guy replies in kilometers, it's got to be a laid-back life where you are; if he responds in minutes, you must be in Dubai or New York.

Coming Home

Had Darshan of the Avatar around 5 hours back. Interesting that He did not use the car, so it was a close encounter of the third spiritual kind. As He was moving towards us, I could not help but reflect that He is so serious nowadays. Perhaps to respond, in just a few seconds after my thought, He suddenly broke out into a smile that evolved into a wide grin and it continued till I could see His face no more! Such is He!

Also, for my psychological satisfaction, the eyes met momentarily, eye to I, I to Eye, I to I. Will leave the Abode after morning Darshan (if there will be one).

On snake and rope

Interesting how the same situation elicits diametrically opposite reactions in different people:

I was having lunch the other day with some relatives, on the occasion of my cousin's marriage. I was the only acknowledged vegetarian in the group. One of my aunts asked me about Akshi. I replied that she is born vegetarian. She automatically felt sympathy for Akshi. I instinctively feel jealous of Akshi.

On Binding to Break

Our return trip from Mookambika was traced through two important pit-stops, one feeding the mind, and the other, the spirit.

We stopped by Manipal, where we met the Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Warrier, who is known to wifey and MIL-ey. We toured the campus that has truly made a world-class business out of world-class-looking education.

We then stopped by the Krishna Temple at Udupi, where Krishna seemed to probe into me. But, it was benevolent, no doubt, as the Tulasi mala I had brought with me from Mookambika was used to adorn the entrance of the sanctum sanctorum. Also, had lunch for the first time in a temple.

Looking back, both secular and spiritual education are needed: one for a living, and the other for life. However, we should never be so full of knowledge, that we have no space for wisdom.

We are born through, and for, karmic reconciliation. Our connections, relations, interruptions and intermissions are all through karmic computation. Why not use the very ties that bind us together, to break us free? Courage is not an endowment, it is an engagement.

Family Vidyarambham - 25.11.2009

Momentous day in the life of Akshi, and not coincidentally, in the life of her Papa as well. We performed her Vidyarambham in Mookambika.

However, it was a beginning of sorts for her Papa as well. Half way through the writing on rice, my superior command of Malayalam left me with a writer's block, as I didn't know how to write some of the characters that the Purohit asked me (they were different from the ones Dhanya trained me for the previous day). So, eventually it ended up that Akshi's hand was traced by her Papa's hand, which in turn was traced by her grandmother's.

A collective beginning of sorts.

Truevision

Watching TV right now and have to postulate with a fair amount of certainty, that:

We have reached that point in civilization, where, truth can be absolute, only if it has come through TV.

Cinematic culture

Going through the controversy over Cooking with Stella, Slumdog Millionaire, et al, one can safely aver that culture may be transmitted through language, but is definitely miscommunicated through cinema.

Shifting perspectives

Partly shifted to our new residence in Al Nahda (the 24-hour electrified part, not the Sharjah part), a 3BR in a twin-storey building. We live on the 12th floor and my spit takes around five seconds to reach ground level. Also, swam in the pool, which, unlike Jeet's pool, is a pool that you can really swim in, and much bigger than a tub (putthar, hope you are reading this :-)).

Need to check out on my neighbours of which there are quite a few, actually very few. In our floor of 12 flats, there is only one more neighbour. Most of the occupancy is shared between Tamils and Malayalees, and I already get the feeling that this is going to be yet another well traversed arena.

Communists own dacha

Forgot to mention earlier that Kerala celebrated the birth of Kerala on November 1. It was 56 years back that God's own country (soon to be bequeathed to Communists) was born.

It is no doubt a marvellous feat worth celebrating, that, Kerala has been able to endure Malayalees for all these years.