Flash news: Pakistan passes 07-10-2010 without single bomb blast

Real News: Pakistan passes 07-10-2010 without single bomb blast

The Ammunition-friendly Republic of Pakistan quite strangely passed 7th October, 2010, without a single bomb-blast on the streets of Karachi or a tanker explosion over the Khyber Pass.

Regretting the incident-free day, both the government and your friendly neighbourhood insurgents have assured that such aberrations will never take place again. True to their word, they have quietly blown up a few moving cars in Peshawar, as of 7.00 AM GMT, 08-10-2010.

Flash news: Resolution of Kashmir only solution to match-fixing scandal

New Pakistani evidence points at India as the main reason for the raging controversy of the current match-fixing scandal. Pakistan has shown that, with, India's reluctance to find a resolution to the Kashmir issue, the match-fixing will continue in Pakistan, and Pakistani cricketers will be forced to continue fixing in the name of the Jihadis.

The Kashmir issue, according to Pakistan, has also been the reason for the current flood in Pakistan and the nuclear facility in Iran. India's outstandingly lousy PR machine has politely and lovingly refuted the claims. Past events, stretching from Columbus' discovery of America, to Prime Minister Gilani's recent bout of diarrhoea, have also been attributed to the Kashmir problem.

Flash News: Attack on Indian not racially motivated!

Police investing a case of assault in University of Technology, Sydney, are relived and excited that a brutal assault on an Indian student yesterday was not racially motivated after all.

Australian universities, which provide world-class education and world-class racism, have been the setting for many an assault on Indians. This time, however, it turned out to be a different case altogether. Shyam Naidu, who is doing a Masters in Electrical Engineering, was pummelled by a group of Australians yesterday at the University cafe, after a discussion on cricket went sour. All things were going on well till Shyam's ignorant comment that Australian cricketers are gentlemen at the game.

Incensed that their cricketers, well acknowledged for their arrogance and overconfidence, were so grossly misinterpreted, his Australian class-mates had a got at him. Shyam is now recuperating in the University hospital with a broken nose and concussions to both knees.