The Journey Has to go on

As of 9.00 PM, Pongal day, 2010, my association with the SAI Youth Mission, Dubai, came to an end.

From the year of inception, 1995 to 2010, we have come a long way. And I have come a long way as well. Right from the early days in Pooja's house, to our Youth Home in Priyanka's house, to our Suri sir's house, back to our Youth Home, to our Centre, to our Mandir, I have had the time of my life!

I got drawn into the Sai fold through the youth, and it is through the youth that I have seen genuine Love for God. In many ways, the Youth Wing of Dubai laid the foundation of my spiritual life. But life must go on, and attachments must die. For man is born through attachment and lives through attachment, but has to leave detached.

The anguish of the last couple of days is amazing, even for my usual standards. Sometimes, you don't realize how much you value an association till you are asked to grow out of it, and by when you reckon that your Gmail inbox will never be the same again.

When I look back and realize that it's over, it dawns on me the enormity of Swami's words, when He says that let us do what we can while we can. I realize how I could have done more, done better, helped more, helped better... how I could have been more kind, less harsh, more gentle, more humane, and more considerate.

I now realize more than ever, how one should never waste any opportunity to do good, be good and say good. I really hope anyone who reads this realizes that they should never think twice about leaving their Anchor Wing(s), even if the going gets painful.

For, there will come a time when there will be no more time, and we will be able to only look back and ask ourselves why we could not have been better than we had. Never bid Farewell before making it a better place.

Never bid Farewell before you have to.

Deputizing Responsibility

I was telling my mother yesterday how my right-hand man at the office does so much of my work, I can focus a lot more on my real work.

Reflection: A good deputy does all what is instructed. A smart deputy does what is expected.

Snow White

In Oxford now. With this weather, the whole city seems to be one mighty blanket of white with a pall of surrealistic grey above. There was so much snow in Gatwick that the plane diverted to Birmingham and literally collapsed on the runway. I have been on a plane many times in my life, but have never been part of such a landing.

With the temperature at -4 C, I would have really deliberated on having something warm to keep me warm, hadn't it been for Swami always keeping a watch on me (and you as well!) at even the most awkward of times.

Just waiting to get back from the depressing weather to the depressing economy.

One's duty above one's duties

Something more applicable for me than to anyone else:

Absolute focus to duty should not be to the exclusion of everything else, rather, in spite of everything else.

Citing off the New Year

Ushered in the New Year with a fine for overspeeding on the way to the Mandir. Ushered in the last New Year with a fine for wrong-parking near the Mandir. There seems to be a karmic connection between me and the Dubai Police coffers.

Cinema and the Art of Suicidal Adulation

A businessman named Vishnuvardhan, who worked in the Kannada film industry, passed away today. He worked as a lead actor and made money, name and fame in the process. However, he must not have been too popular, as his death has resulted in only one fan-suicide, and only a few buses got burnt to cinders.

As an intelligent nation, we would hope for a similar aftermath when someone like Kiran Bedi or Medha Patkar dies. I mean, how else do you explain adulation, especially given that the Bedis and Patkars have genuinely contributed to social change. But then, they can't act, do rain dances with starlets half their age, or or promote hedonism. I don't want to own property in Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad or Bombay. You never know...

Sarcasm aside, Vishnuvardhan was (strange for the cinematic world, though) a genuinely good man.

Now here to nowhere

In an air-conditioned car in Egmore, Chennai.

Just passed by two naked urchins (who were eating something that someone had probably tossed to the bin), while thinking about another Youth conference that is looming over my conscience. Where do we go from here? Between the speech and the report, where lies our duty to God? In the deliverance for the collective cause, introspection of our personal responsibility seems irrelevant.

Incidentally, I discovered through a past-life regression session years back, that, I was an English orphaned girl in Chennai in my previous life. True? Don't know. Relevant? Absolutely. Between his street and my seat, there is a lifetime of unrequited Grace.

Invalid Introduction

I always begin a speech with these words. Ironical.

Christmas 2009

Barring a few sporadic incidents of excited-filled aggression by the children, Xmas bhajan was a largely peaceful demonstration of the children's love for Santa Claus, and especially his gifts. Since I am very scared of people getting touchy when touched, I will use fictitious names, going forward.

Although Sadeep is a bachelor, he did a remarkably good job at being Santa. And since I had advised him to be inside the Mandir only with pure thoughts (which he lacks considerably), he made sure he didnt stay inside too long, and jogged in and out very quickly. His outfit also fitted him well. Sadeep also had two plastic bells slung over his Santa belt that symbolizes his bacherlor status. Although he was petrified about making no mistakes, he still managed to make it a flawful act by forgetting the gift at the altar. Well done to our very own Santa, although he is a bachelor. It takes more than grey plastic bells to get married, it takes bells of steel, which he will figure out soon. In his own words, and misquoting him verbatim: "Although I am a bachelor, I think I did an excellent job. In fact, I am sure I did an excellent job because I am GSB. Also, I broke my personal record for the maximum photographs of myself in one day, though I will need to explain to everyone that it's me behind that fake moustache which I am still chewing on."

On the whole, it was a great effort. Everyone was jolly, generally, and specifically. Memorable incidents include:

1. Jeeet's propensity to photograph anything that moved (or didnt)

2. Sadeep's magnum opus pillar decoration which took three hours to be done so that Nowneet and I could undo it and finish it off in twenty minutes

3. Alti's wonderful Santa on a reindeer montage (although Santa's cheeks were puffed pink, not necessarily due to beer, could have been due to cognac, champagne, or even vodka)

4. Rojesh's standard operating procedure as soon as he reaches anywhere,- grab some food

5. Sateysh's regular dashing entry at 8.45 PM

6. Geresh's tension that he generously distributed to everyone else

7. Santa's complaint of his false moustache being unconscioulsy eaten away by his mouth

8. Nowneet's exclusive head that rains sweat when he dons that shapely cap with that funny thing at the tip

9. Akshitha at her usual graceful best; always unconsciously reconfirming that she is indeed, my daughter

10. The highlight of the day was when one of the children exposed our man, and reconfirmed to all and sundry that he was not actually Santa, because, if you noticed very, very carefully, he was not wearing red socks

Apart from the pejorative and the Telugu film-style suggestions, there is a Christian saying, which Christians are not really used to saying: The Last Christian died on the cross. We should endeavour to change that to: The first Christian died on the cross. 120 children would have died from hunger during the time I took to pen this post. Let us live as if every moment is Christmas, every moment is an opportunity to thank God for all that He has blessed us with, which we always forget to remember.

Unipolar syndrome

Once you are in a spiritual path, you find something negative in everybody and everything. To stay positive does not remain an option, it becomes a necessity.

Hunger for fast

Andhra should be the birth-place of creativity. Taking a cue from the Telangana trick, I am planning a fast unto publicity to carve out a separate state for my house-plot in Trichur.

God is in the details

God is perfection. Approximation is not human. 89 degrees is not right-angle.

The bridge between approximation and perfection may take two lifetimes to cross, but it is undoubtedly one that all spiritual aspirants must step on.

Within the fold of Swami's robe lies the grace of God.

Graceful gorilla

One of us mentioned the other day about me being really arrogant. Although I appreciate the genuine consideration behind the candour, I doubt I have changed from the Tercel to the 7 series.

Arrogant. Don't think so. Blunt. Yes. Bluntness is often confused with arrogance, the same as misconstruing everything sweet as diabetic.

You might end up being a self-made PR disaster, but then, PR is for the real world society. When your head is in the forest, that shouldn't be your primary concern.

Blind realism

Optimism is essential to success; realism, more so. Realism is optimism tempered with experience.

Coincidental Health and Global Harming

Spent the weekend in Rotana Al Ain. Nothing extraordinarily interesting about the hotel or the place. But something about the menu struck me. Maybe I haven't noticed before, but, this was the first time any menu in any star hotel had notes on the state of the food as well. In addition to the standard V for vegetarian, it also had H for healthy (hotels usually qualify by saying low-calorie or something to this effect).

On quick count, around half of the V marked dishes were also marked H, while, not one of the Non-vegetarian dishes was marked H, and with the menu being nearly 90% non-vegetarian, ninety percent of the dishes served by this hotel were not considered healthy by its own admission. This should be the first instance of a business enterprise denouncing its own products.

Of course, coincidentally, and with Copenhagen in the news, livestock account for 15-20% of global methane emissions--about 3 percent of global warming from all gases. Every second, one football field of rainforest is destroyed to produce 257 hamburgers, while each burger consumes only from 600-1,300 gallons of water to reach your tray; the same serving of rice takes a mighty 35 gallons.

I don't know if there is any clumsy connection in this whole post.

Counting others' blessings

In Mookambika, we were witness to the Arangetram of a Bharatanatyam student. She must have been around 18 and danced like a butterfly, arms caressing the holy air, eyes singing songs of devotion. It was just another Arangetram, but for the fact that she had only one leg.

If we don't learn to count our blessings, we won't have much left to count very soon.

Stretching the Mile

To modify Mile's Law based on individuals in our organization:

How you stand depends on where you sit, and where you sit depends on how you stood.

Living life by the kilometre

Going by experience, I have figured out that the answer to the following question will give you a fair idea of the pace of life in a city: How long will it take to get there?

If the taxi guy replies in kilometers, it's got to be a laid-back life where you are; if he responds in minutes, you must be in Dubai or New York.

Coming Home

Had Darshan of the Avatar around 5 hours back. Interesting that He did not use the car, so it was a close encounter of the third spiritual kind. As He was moving towards us, I could not help but reflect that He is so serious nowadays. Perhaps to respond, in just a few seconds after my thought, He suddenly broke out into a smile that evolved into a wide grin and it continued till I could see His face no more! Such is He!

Also, for my psychological satisfaction, the eyes met momentarily, eye to I, I to Eye, I to I. Will leave the Abode after morning Darshan (if there will be one).

On snake and rope

Interesting how the same situation elicits diametrically opposite reactions in different people:

I was having lunch the other day with some relatives, on the occasion of my cousin's marriage. I was the only acknowledged vegetarian in the group. One of my aunts asked me about Akshi. I replied that she is born vegetarian. She automatically felt sympathy for Akshi. I instinctively feel jealous of Akshi.

On Binding to Break

Our return trip from Mookambika was traced through two important pit-stops, one feeding the mind, and the other, the spirit.

We stopped by Manipal, where we met the Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Warrier, who is known to wifey and MIL-ey. We toured the campus that has truly made a world-class business out of world-class-looking education.

We then stopped by the Krishna Temple at Udupi, where Krishna seemed to probe into me. But, it was benevolent, no doubt, as the Tulasi mala I had brought with me from Mookambika was used to adorn the entrance of the sanctum sanctorum. Also, had lunch for the first time in a temple.

Looking back, both secular and spiritual education are needed: one for a living, and the other for life. However, we should never be so full of knowledge, that we have no space for wisdom.

We are born through, and for, karmic reconciliation. Our connections, relations, interruptions and intermissions are all through karmic computation. Why not use the very ties that bind us together, to break us free? Courage is not an endowment, it is an engagement.

Family Vidyarambham - 25.11.2009

Momentous day in the life of Akshi, and not coincidentally, in the life of her Papa as well. We performed her Vidyarambham in Mookambika.

However, it was a beginning of sorts for her Papa as well. Half way through the writing on rice, my superior command of Malayalam left me with a writer's block, as I didn't know how to write some of the characters that the Purohit asked me (they were different from the ones Dhanya trained me for the previous day). So, eventually it ended up that Akshi's hand was traced by her Papa's hand, which in turn was traced by her grandmother's.

A collective beginning of sorts.

Truevision

Watching TV right now and have to postulate with a fair amount of certainty, that:

We have reached that point in civilization, where, truth can be absolute, only if it has come through TV.

Cinematic culture

Going through the controversy over Cooking with Stella, Slumdog Millionaire, et al, one can safely aver that culture may be transmitted through language, but is definitely miscommunicated through cinema.

Shifting perspectives

Partly shifted to our new residence in Al Nahda (the 24-hour electrified part, not the Sharjah part), a 3BR in a twin-storey building. We live on the 12th floor and my spit takes around five seconds to reach ground level. Also, swam in the pool, which, unlike Jeet's pool, is a pool that you can really swim in, and much bigger than a tub (putthar, hope you are reading this :-)).

Need to check out on my neighbours of which there are quite a few, actually very few. In our floor of 12 flats, there is only one more neighbour. Most of the occupancy is shared between Tamils and Malayalees, and I already get the feeling that this is going to be yet another well traversed arena.

Communists own dacha

Forgot to mention earlier that Kerala celebrated the birth of Kerala on November 1. It was 56 years back that God's own country (soon to be bequeathed to Communists) was born.

It is no doubt a marvellous feat worth celebrating, that, Kerala has been able to endure Malayalees for all these years.

Money for nothing

Just out of a meeting with a financial intermediary who arranges project finance. His terms and conditions seem to good to be true. My take on this level of officiousness, especially in a liquidity-starved economy is:

In finance, if something sounds too good to be true, chances are that it is too good to be true.

Convenient Leadership

He is one of those ever-inspiring leaders who leads by example,- by others example, that is.

Free Spirit

With introspection, it should be inferred that spirituality is a dance (at least the Bharatanatyam kind).

Though there is flow, it is not boundless, though there is energy, it is never unbridled. So also with spirituality. There is never an asphyxiation of the aspiration or suffocation of the spirit, unless of course, you wish to feel so. In which case, the Bharatanatyam of spirituality is not meant for you.

Painfully poignant

Was talking to ours truly Sanjay Mankani yesterday, and he mentioned something that so is obvious in its profundity, that we overlook it in toto.

He mused that sage Narada medidated for 60,000 years (525 million hours) to have just one glimpse of Lord Vishnu, and here, we can't sit for four hours in Kulwant Hall... 'coz our backs hurt.

On Leading to the letter

Looking at the way some of us office-bearers conduct ourselves, it might be worth reflecting:

Let not the strive for robotic efficiency kill the human in the being.

Let not the general in the seva dal stifle the seva in the dal.

Let us rule for betterment, rather than for the rule itself.

Very often we follow rules to the letter that we forget the spirit of the sentence. Magnanimity of action based on pusillanimity of thought is self-defeating.

Enduring ideas for enduring success

Recollecting something that our Joint Chairman mentioned many months ago: The business of life is not different from the business of business. Following is a link that will take you to the site of the grandfather of strategy, McKinsey, and some very valuable frameworks for them, especially relevant in these times of turbulence.

http://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Enduring_Ideas_Portfolio_of_initiatives_2446

Redefining our perception

Assuming the silly to be stupid is as fallacious as supposing the serious to be sagacious.

Coming to the critical point

Point to note:

Some of our youth are always critical without being categorical, just like some professors are always explaining, but never answering.

Punishing Papa

I started a new chapter in my parent-child relationship with Akshitha,- that of corporeal punishhment: one smack for Baby and a giant leap for her development.

Just musing that, had I been in the US, my child could have been taken away to a foster home for my act of atrocity, but a few Indian laws are strangely about being sane, and less about being legal.

Smiling sincerity

Barring that of an air-hostess, a smile is the best way of vivifying one's personal biosphere.

Money speaks a lot about people

I have figured out one thing recently:

You are as rich as your thoughts. The richest people need not be the wealthiest ones.

Prophetic(?) Dream Darshan

I had a dream darshan on Saturday, 19th September, 2009. I can't be sure if it was during Bramhamuhurtham, but it was a dream Darshan, no doubt. I blog this, not because I am having one after many months, but because it seems grossly coincidental, in a very incidental world.

Here, I am in Puttaparthi, and we are in a room (not Sai Kulwant Hall, albeit) with other devotees. Swami walks in slowly and starts moving through the ladies side. I know there are some Dubai youth ladies there, and I can see Shalu and Priyanka. Shalu is wearing a bright light blue sari and has got a blue coloured jute shopping bag with her. Swami tells some other devotees that he is busy and lifts Shalu's bag to suggest that he has to go somewhere.

Here's where it gets interesting. He starts moving to the gents side, and towards me. I want ask for a personal blessing, which is a good sub-plot by itself and relates to a dream I had about Swami many years back in Seattle. Though that comes to mind first, I then mentally chide myself for being selfish and decide I will not ask for that. Instead, as soon as Swami walks towards our side, I request him (fumbling a bit, as I am worried He will move past me before I finish my request) to kindly Bless the Youth from the Gulf to perform the play in His presence. As soon as I broach this issue, He turns back, and says that He will definitely approve it, and adds that He will do it 'tomorrow' itself. He talks in Malayalam, Tamil and English. Now, from the other end of the room, I can hear someone from Abu Dhabi say that, it should be the Youth from the Middle East, not from the Gulf.

However, the Avatar moves on and is about to turn the corner, when Dipesh removes his chain from his neck and offers it for blessing. He is in tears for some reason. Swami has already moved forward a number of steps, when He actually turns back and takes vibuthi from somewhere and gives it to Dipesh. I somehow feel moved that He has taken so much effort just for Dipesh though He is so busy. End of Darshan. As an aside, I see Navneet in another room training the ladies for their part, it seems like some kind of musical. Interesting.

Every person to his own (mis)interpretation.

Dream Journey

After 14 years of eventful existence, the Sai Youth Mission Dubai, has finally produced something worthy of consideration for the Destination. What happens going forward can only be termed a mega-bonus.

It goes to show only one thing,- this Mission can never be about the self. And if it has to continue its dream run, it should continue to be about every-self. No man reached his summit by his design alone.

Good old years

Met up with bum-pals from school days yesterday. Tigi has flown down from LA for a couple of days. Met him only after 18 years, and I am just 36.

We remembered all the good old dirty times, most of the dirty times being my contribution, of course. Incidentally, he works for Bank of America, one of the few remaining banks of America.

Forced fast, fine feast

I'ts Onam day today. And among the smss and emails I received, I got one from my old buddy, Philip, who wished me a good Onam and a great sadhya (feast). Interestingly, every major festival currently seems to connote a gastronomical rampage. Any thoughts, anyone?

I know this has to be purely coincidental, but a thought passes my mind that one reason for the collapse of the Roman empire was gluttony. And by the time I have finished this sentence, 40 children would have died from hunger-related causes,- that's one every 3 seconds.

Wake-up Gratitude

My uncle passed away the day-before. He was comatose for four days prior to his departure. In more than a way, death was liberation. And ironically, timely as well; he didn't have to suffer much.

Stepping back a bit, death should be a wake-up call for the living, a sharp stroke struck hard on the canvas of dormant awareness,- that all this is so tenuous.

We are so used to unexpecting the expected.

The Will in Philosophy

'The Story of Philosophy' by Will Durant is a pioneering work in philosophy, which I was fortunate enough to struggle through during my college days. It deserves a show-case for itself, though it is castrated by the fact that Oriental philosophers have been omitted, probably because of the fact that Advaitha requires many minds per person for even a basic level of understanding.

However, many years later, I come to the understanding that most philosophers do nothing more than describe very drab situations with incredibly flowery language. They rarely change the socioeconomintellectual situation, only describe it in incredibly flowery language. Change needs courage and leadership, philosophy is but reflection. Leadership is action.

Heady hedonism

Was going through some of the Avatar's quotes recently; cant stop myself from posting this one, which I feel is the biggest lesson that we never learn:

End joy, enjoy.

In dependence - from cotton to code

We celebrated our Independence day on 15th Aug. Precisely, we celebrated our Independence from the British on 15th Aug. Yet, in a world that touts independence but flourishes on lopsided interdependence, we are far from independent.

More specifically, unless we are psychologically independent, we can never truly be free. We are still that source of cheap labour, currently for US-based MNCs. In other words, we simply have had our object of servitude shifted from the UK to the US. Prior to 1947, we were physical labourers for UK-based companies, now we are automatons for US-based companies.

From growing cotton to entering code, the situation has changed little. Prior to 47, we sold our cotton to UK companies for clothing that got sold back to us. Now, we create code for US-based companies for software that runs our infrastructure, right from refinery information management to avionics for our airplanes. The cotton-growing farmer and the call-centre operator are different but in garb,- one toiled physically, the other strives mentally. One fed British imperialism, the other feeds American capitalism.

Unless we shake ourselves free from the shackles of self-indoctrinated psychological insubordination to everything Western, we will never really achieve independence, we'll always be in dependence.